Juliet 6 Months!

Holy cow, baby girl!! HOW on earth are you already half a year old?!  I just do not understand how time has moved so quickly. I am absolutely loving this stage with you! You are so adorable and so much fun! You are becoming more capable and I think you are enjoying learning new skills! 

You are still so laid-back and easy. Anytime you are particularly fussy, I get slightly unraveled because it is so unlike your usual behavior. Most of life is still met with your wide-eyed stare, but you are very generous with smiles when you make eye contact with mamma, daddy, or Olivia. You think it is hilarious when we're walking down the stairs and Olivia is following right behind us. I definitely think you already look up to her as the "cool older sister". 

You tried solid food for the first time this past month! You're very pleased with your new tricks and are enjoying sitting at the table with us as a family now. I think you like to be included, and we like having you closer by too.  We started you off with "yellows" and so far you've eaten bananas, sweet potatoes, squash, and carrots. You're eating all of them happily, but carrots seem to be your favorite. You kick your feet and squeal with glee with each bite of carrot. You're so funny, I love you so much!

You started sitting up all on your own this month too! Occasionally you will still suddenly fall over and eat it, so we still have to be very careful with where and when we set you down. For the most part, however, you're doing really well and seem pleased with yourself. 

Aunt Sarah and Uncle Jared came to visit during Spring Break and brought the jumperoo for you to use. You really enjoy it and I'm so thankful to have a place to set you where you seem content. 

For the most part you are giving me good naps during the day. It's not uncommon for you to take two 2 hour naps a day - which is so new and surprising to me since I was lucky to get two, one hour naps from your older sister. 

At night you still prefer to wake up at least once, usually somewhere between 2-5 am. We have been turning off the monitor and letting you work it out. Trying to sleep train is no fun for anyone. You're generally happy when I go in to check on you when you wake up in the night, as though you just wanted to check in and play for a bit. Haha, you're a nut. 

You haven't had a well visit since the beginning of December due to the horrible flu season we had (the pediatrician kept canceling well visits to keep healthy kids away from the germs). So I don't have any up to date stats as far as weight, length, etc go. You're still in size 2 diapers, have started wearing overnights at bedtime, and are in 6-9 month clothes. 

You have the littlest bit of tooth peeking through in two places, on the side mostly. Drooling seems pretty constant and I keep waiting for the rest of the tooth to spring up overnight, but they seem to be taking their time.

You experienced a couple of new things and "firsts" this past month.  We went to the beach with your cousins and Aunt and Uncle when they were here and so you got to experience the beach for the first time! It was sunset and a bit windy and chilly and so daddy kept you warm in the Ergo. We'll dip your toes in the water next time, probably at our annual Leeper family vacay. 

You also got in the pool for the very first time! It was hot outside, but the water was freezing and you were not happy about getting the littlest bit of your foot wet, so we didn't put you any further in the water. 

You ALSO celebrated your first Easter! Which also meant that it was your first time at church. Like I said, I had been avoiding most public places like the plague since Christmas, so you had never been. You and I spent most of the time in the nursing mothers' room, but it still felt great to be back and worship with others. You didn't seem too terribly impressed with Easter, but we've read the book the easter bunny gave you multiple times. You were better with the "Easter Bunny" than your sister and let him hold you.  It will be fun next year when you can participate in more Easter actives like egg hunts!

You also got to meet your sweet cousin, Ella!! Y'all are only three months apart! I really hope you grow up being really good friends!! I just think it will be so much fun for you to have two cousins so close in age! 

Oh sweet, sweet girl. You really are just such a joy! We love you to pieces and are so thankful that God chose us to be your mommy and daddy! Happy half a year to you, princess pie!!

Juliet 5 Months!

Juliet Rose!! You are a whole FIVE months old! Actually, you're more like five and a half months now, because I am way behind in writing this blog! We've been slightly distracted by traveling to Atlanta to visit family and celebrate your cousin Charlotte turning one. 

You are so much fun, silly girl! Your personality is shinning through and you are such a happy little bit! You are full of smiles and are giggling more and more. Though you are still approaching most life with a startled and surprised look! 

Baby girl you are all about mommy right now. You've spent a good portion of your life quarantined at home because I've been terrified of you and your sister getting the horrible flu that's been so bad this winter. I think that you have become very comfortable with your routine and haven't had much opportunity to meet new people, so mommy is who and what you know. 

You're teething and love to have those fingers in your mouth! You're getting even better control of your fingers and are getting pretty good at grabbing toys and putting them in your mouth, but those trusty fingers are always there whenever a toy falls out of reach. 

Your last few well visits were canceled by the pediatrician because of the severe illness going around, so we don't have up to date statistics. However, last time I weighed you on our bathroom scale, you were just over 13 pounds. You're still wearing size 2 diapers. Your eyes are a beautiful blue and your hair is already coming in faster and darker than your big sister's did at this age.

You roll over with ease at this point and we've started putting you on your tummy when you sleep. If we put you on your back, you roll yourself right on over. You're unswaddled now and I think you are enjoying that freedom! 

You're so close to sitting up on your own. You've outgrown your bouncy seat and are enjoying more and more time playing on your play gym and on the floor with your sister. 

I will do better for your 6 month blog, sweet girlie girl! You are such a joy and such a gift and blessing to our family. We love you to the deepest depths and to the farthest stars. Happy five months!!

Saying Goodbye

Honestly, I'm not even sure how to compose this post. Last Friday night, a week ago today, we said a final goodbye to our sweet dog, Emma. This whole blog started out as a silly dairy of sorts all about Emma. It's so heartbreaking that her story ended this way. 

We rescued Emma from the Savannah Humane Society in August of 2010. She was a puppy and so tiny and small. I remember going to look at the dogs at the Humane Society with the intent to adopt an older dog. We passed by Emma who was this teeny tiny thing, shrinking back in the corner of this large run. Miguel was the one who took to her first. I was hesitant because she was skittish of us and we hadn't wanted to bring a puppy home. Miguel talked me into choosing Emma - which wasn't very hard, because, hello PUPPY! 

Emma ended up being a real Godsend for me in many ways. Shortly after we adopted her I went into a real funk and depression. Emma was such a healthy thing for me while I was struggling with my place in the world, my identity, and learning to be in a new stage of life. She was a great outlet for me and our little adventures together helped give me something to focus on. You just need to go back to the beginnings of this blog to see what a big part of my daily life Emma was. 

The Humane Society had told us Emma was a black lab puppy, but she clearly never grew into that. She had a lot of terrier in her and liked to bark, dig, and do other terrier-like things. So some of that played into her obnoxious behavior and she always was a mess in the car. However, what I think really set her off was when our home was burglarized a few years back. Both Miguel and I were at work when it happened, and we don't know what happened to the dogs while we were gone. Emma ran away during the burglary and was later found and taken to the Humane Society. She's never been the same since that day. 

Over the years Emma's behavior became more and more neurotic and unpredictable. She became more and more anxious and nervous. About two years ago she began randomly jumping up from a peaceful sleep and attacking our other dog, Jack. It was scary and unprovoked. Emma had never been aggressive towards Olivia, but I began to worry that Olivia would get caught in the crosshairs of a random attack on Jack. She would also nip at Jack when the mailman came or someone walked down the street. It got worse with time. 

Alarm bells started going off in my head about Emma possibly hurting Olivia. About a year ago I reached out to various shelters and rescues and was turned down at everyone. Many actually gave me not so nice responses and told me Emma was acting out due to us having children and that becoming parents and having kids in the home wasn't a good enough reason to rehome a dog. If our situation had been as simple as wanting to rehome the dogs simply due to having kids, then that would be different. I was super discouraged and we tried other things to help control Emma's behavior including homeopathic remedies and a bark collar. 

Once I became pregnant with Juliet, and Olivia became more and more mobile and active, I felt really strongly about needing to do something about Emma again. I was just so scared she'd hurt our girls. We began working with our vet and tried various medications to help Emma. I kept thinking Emma was starting to do better, but then the medications seemed to stop having an effect. We upped the dosages to their max points and still we had no positive, lasting results. 

At the beginning of the year we started to actively look to rehome the dogs again. I just couldn't take the stress and constant worry that Emma may just "snap" at any given point.  I posted on Facebook looking for help and received a lot of negative feedback and judgement. Shelters and rescues again wouldn't take Emma due to her history of aggression. We ended up finding a home for Jack and having him out of the house actually seemed to help with Emma! I became really hopeful that by simply removing the other dog in the family that it had given Emma some sense of peace. 

But a week ago today all my fears came true. The day was wrapping up and we were waiting on Miguel to get home from work. Emma was napping on the floor and Olivia was calmly playing. Olivia passed by Emma, who was sleeping about a yard away, to take a book of the bookshelf. Emma jumped up out of nowhere and straight up bit Olivia in the face. Olivia fell backwards and hit the ground. Emma backed off almost immediately, as if she was surprised at what had just happened. I jumped up instantly. Olivia was doing a silent cry and held her hand over her eye. Pulling her hand off of her face was honestly one of the scariest moments of my life. I was so scared of what damage I was going to find.  Thank the Lord that the bite missed her eye!! She hardly cut the skin too. I'm so so  so grateful that Olivia wasn't more badly hurt. 

I put Emma on the screened porch and called our vet. I was in tears and shaking. I was so so upset about what had happened to Olivia, but also so sad about what this meant. After speaking with our vet, he agreed that we had exhausted all our options and we knew what we probably needed to do. He actually suggested we sleep on the decision, but I couldn't bring Emma back in the house in good conscious and the thought of having Emma here knowing what was going to happen in the morning was unbearable. 

Miguel got home and immediately took Emma to be put down. I have no memory of ever crying so hard. It was just so sad that this is how her story ended. I loved that dog. She annoyed me a lot and was an inconvenience, but she generally had a really sweet temperament and I felt like she had really been there for me during a hard time in my life. It may seem trivial to some that I felt so heartbroken about losing Emma, but I don't know a time where I have felt so sad. I felt like we had somehow let her down and I hated knowing what was going to happen and she had no idea. It was the worst thing ever. I sobbed - like ugly cried hard - for hours. 

End of the day, Emma was broken. Something had just snapped along the way. Our girls are more important and we could never put them in harms way. We honestly probably prolonged the inevitable for too long. I will never fully forgive myself that Olivia got hurt when we had imagined this as a possibility. We keep telling Olivia that "Emma is with Jesus". It's so sad but I hope she's happy now and no longer broken and that she is chasing squirrels. 

Emma Demma Do 

May 2010 - February 2018

(This is the blog post I wrote about the day we brought her home)